Time Marches on

I know I haven't blogged much over the last few months. I had decided it was in my best interest to worry about myself for a while and not things like blogging. Like everyone does we close out the old year and start a new one with hopes that things are more prosperous in one way or another, I'm no different. So as I sit here I try and plot my 2007 journey while looking back on my 2006 ups and downs.

To say 2006 was a good year for me would be a gross overstatement but to negate it to strict negative terms would be doing the things I have worked so hard on an injustice. So I've had a rough year but I'm a much better person in the process.

2006 saw me blogging about some deeply personal issues that I was aware most people would simply either not understand or view in a very negative way. I have to say I was a bit surprised by the reaction to some degree. Those who truly cared were supportive whether they understood it or not and those who weren't simply didn't say a word. I guess you could say not one person stepped to the plate to make it a bad thing, they just let me live without bothering me...

I went from taking Gender identity disorder as a shameful, guilty thing that I was destined to run from and hide for my entire life to talking about it. I'm happy to say that I've closed the circle of people smaller and smaller about those who know and we are getting down to the core group that will be brought into the loop next.

Overall for the first time in my life I'm feeling better about this issue and myself. My cousin always had a saying .. "It is what it is" and I guess I've learned that this is just that. I cannot control it but I cannot allow it to take control of me. I've grown by leaps and bounds this year and I thank everyone who supported me and showed me that life needs to be lived and not just survived.

The one person who never ceases to amaze me is my wife who has not only showed me love in this but showed me the better I become for it, the more in love she becomes with me. If there was ever a rock in my life to lean on then she was the one.

My daughter started coming back into my life this year which was an absolute joy for me. She had been the person I missed the most over the last few years. I'm sad in the fact that things turned sour again and the decisions she has made hurt our whole family. Regardless of those decisions we all love her dearly and hope she stays safe and well. Recently she delivered news to us that we viewed as less than happy. I feel bad in the sense that I want to support her but I'm having a hard time being supportive of something that I don't agree with. Recently she got upset with me because I wouldn't discuss it with her. I tried to explain that in the discussion one person will walk away hurt. If I tell her my true feelings then she gets hurt and if I lie I walk away hurt, I've chosen to simply not deal with it for now. I know it sounds like a cop out but it seems to be the only way to preserve myself for now.

I love my daughter with all my heart, I simply cannot be around the people she has chosen to spend her life with so in my world the most important people have to be Diane and I for now.

So many things have happened this year yet when we hit the end of the year it almost becomes a blur now. Some friends got married, Two bought houses, One got a Jackson endorsement. We added a new puppy to our home. I bought a mustang. The one thing that remains constant in the whole thing is that time marches on and it marched quickly this year.


So as I sit here in a quiet house pondering what changes I've made and what changes are coming in the upcoming year I tip my glass to all of my friends. I salute all of you and hope that all your dreams come true for the new year and most of all I thank you for being there for me in the past year. You all hold a special place in not only my heart but Diane's as well .....


Happy 2007 peoples