I've been stuck in a bit of a fog this afternoon not feeling very well and doing a lot of thinking over different things. We as human beings are constantly evaluating where we are and where we are going. We tend to do this at major intervals within our lives. Birth of children, Death of relatives, Major birthdays and graduations.
Recently in my quest to rid myself of years of pent up guilt and frustration I've been in the middle of just that, reevaluation.
If you were to be able to get into my mind before you would know that I was a pretty caring individual and always ready to help out. The flip side to this was the fact that I was always very blunt about things and at times I could be an ass to people. I would pride myself on the fact that no matter what you thought of me you knew where you stood with me.
In my elimination of guilt and working on myself over the last year or so I've learned to feel a bit better about myself and tried to rid myself of that jerk I could become. One would think that kind of turn around is a good thing and I would tend to agree. Lately I've been thinking that in becoming more open I've tended to overshoot my way of thinking and I've possibly become too open with people.
I used to be a very private person for obvious reasons and would rarely let people get past the shell for fear of what they could learn. Recently I've been very much the opposite and while it has made me feel better about myself, it could be too much for other people. Is there a point of being too caring or to quick to share? Is there a point that being nice becomes a bit too much?
I'm beginning to think I need to step back a bit and just let people breathe around me, but hey ..What do I know ... evaluations suck because reality always sets in ..
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