Winding Roads II

I can’t honestly say being out on our own under those conditions was easy, but we always did the best we could. I grew up inner city middle class as a kid and Diane’s upbringing wasn’t much different. It was tough to grow up middle class and suddenly become poor…

We didn’t have a thing to our names, No car, furniture, towels, plates ..not a thing and worst of all we had no money to get the basics. We scraped by just to get the money for our first apartment that even the security deposit was a promise of payment.

I can’t say it was the best of situations looking back on it but the things we had going for us was the fact that we had each other and we didn’t have great home lives. I won’t discuss much of my upbringing in this writing other than to say that I still suffer the affects of it to this day.

The apartment we settled on was in a really poor section of our town and somewhere I wouldn’t feel safe walking around today. We had gotten ourselves a little 1 bedroom studio where the dining, kitchen and living room we pretty much 1 room. It wasn’t much as I stated but it was ours.

During that time I had made the assumption that Diane could be convinced to keep the baby but given the circumstance she knew she wasn’t ready to be a parent. She still had it set in her mind that the baby would be better suited to someone who could provide it with a more stabile life.

Diane was never much of a motherly type because of her own upbringing and her own bad experiences so it was a very natural decision for her to try and do the best for the baby as well as her own future. The one thing we were lucky in all the turmoil was some very dear friends of ours who very graciously helped set us up in our apartment with essentials, To this day those people hold a very special place in my heart for their generosity…

In her visits to the Doctor she had made the arrangements for the adoption process and for the state of Massachusetts to take custody upon birth. I remember nights during those months lying in bed next to her trying to convince her we were able to raise a child together but she was dead set in her decision.

The only person I had to turn too beyond a few friends was my ½ sister Tammy at that time. My dad had been married 3 times in his life and I was the product of his 2nd marriage and was raised as an only child. His 1st marriage yielded a total of 4 children before he had moved on to my mom. I can’t say we knew much about each other as we weren’t raised together but when I met my sister Tammy for a brief time we hit it off very well. Tammy was a few years older than I was and I was 17 when we finally got to know each other. She had been a mother at the age of 16 so she knew full well what I was dealing with.

We did the best we could with little support and no money ..there were days we had a hard time just being able to feed ourselves. Our only saving grace at that point was working for Burger King so we had some means of getting by however small that was….