Winding Roads

What I am about to talk about is something that is very bare, at times painful but at the least truthful and heartfelt. It will be a tiny detail of somethings in my life or mainly someone who changed me if only for a sliver of time.

Back in 1983 after graduation from high school in June I met my wife Diane. She was a cute girl but certainly has been someone who has aged and gotten more beautiful with time. I can't say it was love at first site but she definetly had an affect on me. I remember the day we met as though it was just yesterday, in fact this whole blog will be about something that feels like just yesterday to me.

In a very rough point in my life and in between jobs as a 17 year old I took a very brief job working for Burger King. During my break that first day I was invited to sit down with a little blonde spitfire as she was enjoying her cigerette. I don't remember much about the conversation beyond realizing how cute I remembered she looked back then. It would not be until November of that year that we would start dating and ultimately become steady partners on my birthday Dec 24, 1983.

During those years I had some rough personal times with my relationship with my mom as well as my own inner demons and iced the cake with the fact that I went through a very lazy period of my life in those years.

My life basically consisted of Diane and guitars during that period, my life as I was either spending time with her or playing in my band. Diane was awesome all through that time in our lives as she knew what music and playing meant to me, she never once complained about the time and let me chase my dreams like all aspiring musicians do ..

By November of that year my grandmother had passed away, my mom and I were tolerating each other at best and well,.. Diane became pregnant! Diane was 19 and I was 18 at that point in our lives and I still remember the fear that came over me as everyday passed that the reality sank in that there were changes coming in our lives one way or another.

We did our best to hide it from our families as scared as we were and tried to be there for each other in those early days, the saving grace for us was that Diane never started to show until she was 7 months along and then it was a crazy begining to our lives.

My inlaws were insistant that Diane was going to give the baby up for adoption and get rid of me. I guess looking back on that now I can't say I blame them for it they only wanted the best for their daughter but at the same time I have had a hard time of letting go of the fact that my rights and feelings were never once taken into consideration back then

When I learned Diane was with child I reflected on my own life and the fact that my dad had never been there for me, he never once showed he cared. Robert Maynard had left for California when I was 2 for a new life and to start a new family.. This would affect me profoundly not only during my life but especially during those days.

Knowing what it was like to not have a father in my life I vowed that even at the ripe old age of 19 there was no way I would ever walk in my dads footsteps. I would most certainly do what I needed to do out of responsibilty.

Somewhere around Feb of 1985 things were very chaotic in our lives. Diane had been convinced the baby was to be put up and my home life with my mom had hit a new low. I found myself out in the cold homeless, no job and a lot on my mind. I think the only thing that kept me going in those days was the love that I got from Diane..

Diane and I had agreed that with me being homeless that the best thing we could do for not only me but each other was to find an apartment and start our lives together. Dianes home life hadn't been much better as her parents had become very anti Kevin. I can't give a precise date that it happened but I can say it was a Thursday night, her family was away at a play for her sister and we cleaned out all of her belongings for our move....

It may have not been the best way to start our lives together but we were determined to be independent and each others rocks. The only thing Diane left behind that night was a note to her parents that simply read ..

Mom and Dad I've moved out and please do not attempt to contact me anymore.....

Being a parent now and dealing with what I have from my own daughter for the past few years I can only say I now understand the heartbreak that it must have given her parents that night. I've spent my own sorrow over the departure of my daughter from my life now and it was one of the worst moments my life could have been dealt ....


More to come .....