Winding Roads V

May 21st 1985 1:08 am Holy Family hospital 6lbs 8 oz 19 inches long and healthy ..

After casting my eyes into the chamber the held my daughter I had gotten a request from the nurse to go to my wife still in the delivery room. She seemed to be doing well and they were tending to the final stages of taking care of her from the delivery. The labor had gone so fast she didn't have time to remember anything and in fact had gotten an epi which never even had time to take effect.

By the time we had gotten her settled into her room it had gotten late, she was exhausted and needed some rest and I needed to tend to some things. I left the hospital that morning at 6am still uncertain about our future with the baby and on a mission. Against my wife's wishes I had gone to her job to let them know and make a phonecall to her mother and father. I vividly remember that morning my now mother in law answering the phone and I simply said Diane is at the hospital, you have a grand daughter and you have the right to go see them and I hung up the phone.

After tying up some loose ends, heading home for a shower and some quick shut eye that morning I headed back to Holy Family to see Diane and discuss some ulterior motives. When I got there my focus was on trying to get Diane to agree to take the baby instead of giving it up with the intent that if she refused I would attempt to invoke my parental right as the father and raise her myself.

We never got that far in the discussion for whatever reason that morning ...Diane easily agreed that we would try and build a family and do the best we could with the circumstances. We were definitely in this together. We started discussing what we would like our new daughter to be called and my 2 favorite Choices Were Jessica Ann or Melissa. Diane readily jumped on Jessica Ann Maynard and were now a family. The problem we hadn't planned for was the fact that the process of parental termination was already being taken care of by the State of Massachusetts in accordance with Dianes original request and what was tom come would be a nightmare.

In an odd twist in the room next door to us was my neighbor from my Moms house who had just had a baby of her own and apparently word spread quickly that baby Maynard was being put up for adoption. It was a long day that day and Dianes family did show up at the hospital, spent a bit of time with her and I did my best that day to avoid them at all costs. They didn't like me and I didn't look favorably on them back then so it was best for me to hang in the background. Later that night I bid Diane a good night and some friends took me out to celebrate the good news.

I'm not sure what time of the morning it was, but a call came from my Mom and she was not happy with me. She had finally heard we had a baby and through the next door neighbor heard the plans of it being put up for adoption. To say she was irate with me would be the understatement of the year but looking back on it now, no matter what the decision back then it was simply none of her business. I explained to her that Diane and I had decided to keep the baby and raise it.

She met me at the hospital the next morning to meet her new grandaughter and hold her for the first time. When we got upstairs I was not prepared for what was about to transpire. Because Diane had set the wheels in motion to surrender Jessica the Dept of Social services was there with the legal paperwork to take custody. I was brought into a room and told I needed to sign my parental rights away to which I refused. When I was asked why I was refusing I explained that we had decided to keep our child and that did not sit well with social services.

SS tried to discourage me from using my legal rights telling me I was not ready to handle a baby and I needed to do the best for the child. When the realized they were not getting any closer the tried a new route which was to ask for temporary custody. They tried to explain that if I signed over temporary custody it would give me time to get things in order at home to have a baby and I knew that if I signed anything ... I'd never see my daughter again ...

I’ve not always gotten on well with my Mom. She's been verbally and mentally abusive to me my whole life due to her own issues but that is another story for another time. It was what took place at that moment, that would not only floor me but is something I cannot ever take away from her. My mother stepped forward and offered to provide us with everything Jessica needed to come home, effective stopping DSS in their tracks.. And she did,

I've not always agreed with the things my mom did but that is one of the positive things that I can look back on with gratitude and pride.

DSS, would go on to make our lives miserable for the next 3 years. Every week there would be surprise visits supervised doctor’s appointments etc etc etc. They were like dealing with organized crime over 1 decision that I had the legal right to make.

I guess by now this writing is probably a bit transparent but I'll point it out anyway. May 21'st of this month will be my daughter Jessica's 21st birthday and it was a source of inspiration for detailing the way she came into this world. I haven't always been the best of fathers or parents but I've done everything I could out of love of my child to give her the best opportunity I was able. I've not always agreed with her choices and god knows we have had some horrible fights in our relationship but the one thing I can honestly say in the end is that I love my daughter with all my heart. She enriched my life and changed me in a direction that has probably saved my life many times..

Happy B'day Jess ...

Love Dad